Helicopter Brother
by The Author 1945
Summary: Israel has been heavily influenced by his brother, America, much to England's chagrin, especially since America wont stop calling him about the boy. Short one-shot. Author-series


Yikes! Sorry for the moderately late update, folks! Had a bit of trouble and didn't have much time to edit! Sorry, but here's you another story for your enjoyment!

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England sighed as he shredded another letter from Jordan asking for more weapons. The Englishman rubbed his forehead. Why on earth did he ever create that country? Eh, he wasn't as aggressive as Palestine (he was just crazier.) And at least he wasn't America…

_Ring ring!_

England sighed and picked up the phone, hoping it wasn't one of the Arab countries calling to demand he take his influence out of their homes. He got his wish but he also got something worse…

"HEY IGGY!" came an incredibly loud voice. England flinched and pulled the phone from his ear, which now ached from his younger brother's voice.

"America, you git!" cried England, "calling is fine but didn't I teach you about indoor voices?!"

"Nope! HA HA HA!" laughed America from the other line. England sighed, trying to figure out how the sweet, cute little boy he had raised had turned into…America.

"What is it?" asked the Brit irately, and he wasn't surprised when he said: "Izzy!"

England sighed and rubbed his temple. America had been calling him every hour of the day (and night) to tell him about whatever his baby brother had done, anything from saying a new word to doing a cartwheel to coughing. England wondered if he had ever been this much of a helicopter brother. Why on earth was America so attached to this kid?! The baby was cute but so what?!

"America, for the millionth time," said England in an angrily irate voice, "_I don't care_! I don't control the Holy Land anymore! I've been given enough trouble from the Israelis."

England heard America sigh and say, "You're just jealous because I'm being a better brother then you!"

"Wha-?! Jealous?! Why would I be jealous? You're irresponsible!"

"HA HA HA! What do you mean by that? I'm totally responsible!"

"Alfred," sighed England, "you let him play in the washing machine."

"Just for an hour!" cried America defensively.

"What the heck is with you calling me twenty-four seven!?" said England. America only laughed once more and said, "'cause he's so cute! And he's your brother too!"

"So? I've got like forty brothers!" cried England. Indeed, since he was a major colonizer, he had a lot of younger siblings and children, since when a nation took over another and turned them into a colony their influence rubbed off on the nation and they often 'adopted' the colony as either their offspring or their sibling.

"Yeah, but Izzy's better then them!" said America with another laugh. Another sigh on England's part.

"What about all your colonies?" said England. America had never been as much a colonizer as France or England but he had taken over some nations and made them colonies, yet he rarely visited them.

America said, "I like Izzy more! He's kinda like me!"

"God forbid," muttered England. He didn't care if it meant Russia got a major ally and kicked him out of the Mid East, if Israel ended up turning into another America he would rip his eyebrows out!

"So what the heck did he do this time?" asked England resignedly. Another obnoxious American laugh and America said, "he learned a couple new words! Izzy! Come here and say the new word you learned for Big Brother England!"

There was a rattling on the other end as America no doubt handed the phone to the child. There was a pause and then the high pitched voice of baby Israel said "Drop dead, England~!"

There was a childish giggle from Israel and a hearty laugh from America on the other end and England, blue in the face, hung up and put his head down on the desk. If America kept going on at this rate, England might just join the Communist Bloc himself to get away from the double trouble team.

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England's not gonna be having fun in this series.

**England: (curses)**

Explanation!

"Another letter from Jordan asking for more weapons": England for quite some time ran the nation of Jordan and even after it lost imperial role of the nation it had a deal with its king to protect it. Eventually, though, England left the Middle East and Jordan was left on its own.

"Why on earth did he ever create that country?" A bit of a long story but England continued create the nation of Jordan from land that was traditionally Palestinian after it took control of the area in WWI, giving the land to the modern day line of monarchs. This is why over 70% of the people in Jordan are of Palestinian origin.

'I've been given enough trouble from the Israelis': the English ruled over the holy land from the end of World War I until the end of World War II and during this time both the Arab Palestinians and the Israeli Jews were attempting to form their own nation, this led to the English getting literally caught in the middle of their arguments as well as being center of the argument as well since the English controlled the place and the Jews and Arabs wanted to be self-governing. We'll get more into this later.

America's influence on Israel: Good luck, England.


End file.
